Devil Bird

Most mornings, I enjoy sitting down with my coffee and seeing the birds outside. Although they make such a mess out of my porch they are really relaxing to watch. I have one bird, however, that I despise.

For over a month now, this stupid male cardinal has been harassing us. I know it sounds crazy, but every morning when I wake up he's sitting on the porch staring at me. While I'm at the computer he dive bombs the window, and I know that it's not because it's clean. He's left smudges and little beak marks all over the place. He will even sit on the side mirror of my car and star at the window and poop all over the side of it. Seriously? I think this bird has some plan for driving me crazy. My cat always looks longingly and does that weird little chatter noise. He's making us all crazy! Any ideas on how to make him go away?